How To Talk To Someone You Love About Their Drinking – I want you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine that you are sitting next to the girl or woman you love very much. Maybe it’s your mother, sister, aunt, daughter or best friend.
Okay, now that you imagine her sitting next to you, I want you to imagine her asking you to tell her what you think of her. You would list all her great qualities, the things she is good at, the things she does that make you smile, the reasons why she is special and even all the things that make her beautiful inside and out.
How To Talk To Someone You Love About Their Drinking
Now hold on to that thought and list the last 10 thoughts you had about yourself. I’m waiting… 🙂
Speak To Yourself With Kindness To Find Self Love
Imagine sitting with the girl you love and telling her those 10 things. How would they make her feel? Would these be things you would ever say to her in real life?
So here’s the question…why do we talk to ourselves the way we do? Why do we hurt ourselves so much?
You are just as beautiful, special, talented and brave as that girl you imagined. You deserve to hear those things, just like she does. You deserve to be loved and treated as kindly as she does. You are imperfect, but so is she. These imperfections make you who you are.
So today I want you to make a little more effort to talk to yourself as you would to someone you love. To focus on your great qualities, highlight your talents and even list the things that make you beautiful. You deserve it. As someone who lives alone (and for a long time), I often think out loud. I’ve noticed that I do this more often when I’m in quarantine, most likely because I can’t do it with a bottle of wine with a friend on the couch.
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Whether you talk to yourself out loud like I do, write down your thoughts and feelings, or just store them in your head, have you ever paid attention to how you talk to yourself? what does your tone sound like? what does your body language look like? are you hard please? are you compassionate are you mean are you forgiving
We have heard many times that we are our own harshest critics. in addition, I caught myself talking to myself in a way that could be considered rude or unforgiving. This quote from Brene Brown stood out to me and is often something I tell myself and my clients:
When I think about how I relate to my closest circle, I first introduce each one of them with love, regardless of the circumstances. I just remind myself to direct that same love and energy inward. I deserve it. and you also. If we wouldn’t talk to others like we talk to ourselves, why is it okay to talk to ourselves so badly? After all, the most important relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves.
I was seeing a therapist a few years ago. One of the things we talked about was the fact that I had some people in my life who exacerbated some of the negative perceptions I had about myself and my self-worth. She said that spending so much time with these people makes it harder for me to see the good in myself. Yes, your girlfriend had to change some of her people and quickly.
Like Someone You Love
You can surround yourself with people who hold you down, or you can spend time with people who lift you up and challenge you to become a better version of yourself.
It was a hard lesson, but I learned something. It’s okay to walk away from people who treat you like your time doesn’t matter, like your feelings are worthless, or like your soul is replaceable. Last year I wrote a post about all this, which you can read in its entirety here. But I want to highlight some of the feelings I had about myself at the time that kept me in situations that were harmful to me.
If you can relate to any of the feelings I had, I really do. Relationships are hard as they are, but when you struggle with seeing your worth, it makes them even more of a challenge. And in my experience, you end up attracting people who don’t see your value. Which makes it much harder to see your worth.
It’s much easier to change the way you see yourself when you surround yourself with the right people. These are the people who will lift you up, challenge you and be there for you when you need it most. They will also accept and appreciate what you have in return. And trust me, you’ll be surprised what you attract when you start believing in what you deserve. I hope you fall in love with someone who is physically attractive to you, but I hope you remember that your hair is turning gray and your stomach is falling apart sometimes. soft, and how you can move doesn’t always stay the same. A good conversation, however, always has the potential to age well. The words you exchange will keep butterflies in your stomach, a smile on your face and excitement in your heart.
Talk To Yourself Like You Would Talk To Someone You Love Poster By The Art Of The Pause
When you feel lost or stuck’, ‘conversation is what can get you out of the mud and out of the woods. A good conversation is an anchor that grounds you, air that lifts you up, a soothing balm that soothes your soul and warms your heart. The words shared by two lovers are sacred – they can inspire you to be better, to think deeper, and to love harder than ever before.
I hope you fall in love with someone who makes the words you’ve held onto for years flow out of your mouth. I hope you share these words in the early morning hours, when the sun returns to the sky and sheds its light on everything and everyone in its path. I hope these words bring comfort and challenge all at once.
When you have a bad day, I hope you come home to someone who has the right words to make it better. Let their words lift you up. Let them be a reminder of all that is good in this world and all that is good in you. When your inner critic is telling lies into your heart and soul, I hope you have someone to shout out the truth that touches you to the core.
When you have a good day, I hope you come home to someone who shares your joy. I hope it inspires you to turn that good day into a celebration, because the sweet things in life always deserve to be celebrated, no matter how big or small.
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I hope that the person you fall in love with is the one to whom you want to tell everything – your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your worries, your joys, your passions. When inspiration strikes, I hope you don’t feel the need to keep it to yourself. I hope that the one you stand with will hear your dreams and give you the words to make them come true. When you’re lying awake at night worrying about what you’re worrying about at 4:00 in the morning, I hope you’re not whispering your fears into the dark. I hope you will tell them to the person next to you.
I hope you will always keep your communication and your words at the forefront. I hope you treat them as precious gifts and jewels. They are the ones who keep your relationship growing, loving and progressing.
When you let the words between you and your love act as light, you will always find a way out of any darkness you have to face.
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