What To Do When Someone Dies Checklist – Prepare for what needs to be done next, such as termination of employment, legal matters, and family notification.
Caring for them – legitimately, because they are part of the grieving process. This checklist guides you through what to do when someone dies, so you can manage what needs to be done and focus on what matters most: taking care of yourself and your family.
What To Do When Someone Dies Checklist
As you read, remember that you are not alone. There are people who care about you and walk by your side. We are also with you. So let’s go through it together.
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Whether it was sudden or expected, losing a loved one is always a shock. And in the first few minutes, it can be overwhelming to figure out what to do. Here are the five most important things to do right away.
How this step works depends on where and how your loved one dies. If they are in a hospital, nursing home or other medical facility, the staff will make a legal declaration of death. If your loved one dies at home, you should call the appropriate doctor to come and make a statement:
Sometimes, especially if you call 911, first responders may try to revive your loved one. Prepare do-not-resuscitate orders or advance care directives in case your loved one does not want resuscitation.
The county coroner and 911 can also transport the body for you. Otherwise, you will need to call the funeral home or crematorium to do this. These businesses are required by law to tell you how much their services cost, so ask around and write down their prices.
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Your loved one’s driver’s license indicates that he or she wants to be an organ donor. If they want to do this and it happens in a medical facility, let the staff know right away to start the process. Call 911 if you die at home. Paramedics will transport your loved one’s body to the nearest hospital to carry out their wishes.
When a child dies, their parents or legal representatives decide on organ donation. It’s a tough, tough choice. And there is no right or wrong answer. Some parents can’t stand the idea of being a donor. Others see it as a way for their child to live or to give another child a chance to live.
Although organ donation often needs to be done quickly, this difficult choice should not be rushed. Talk to your spouse. You can also ask the hospital staff for guidance. Remember, whatever you choose is good for your child.
Loss is hard for anyone, but it’s even more heartbreaking when children are involved. Here are some general guidelines for caring for bereaved children.
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Maybe the children lost one parent but not the other. Maybe they lost a sibling. Or maybe they are
In such cases, the children still have a living guardian. They really only need a day or two of short-term care. It is best for them to stay with someone they know (such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, or close relatives) until a caregiver brings them home.
This situation starts with one goal: to get children to a safe place with a trusted adult who can care for them for 24-48 hours. However, it can look very different depending on the wishes of the deceased and the dynamics of the family.
If you or the children know who their new guardian will be, take them to that person as soon as possible. Often, children can stay there until the person is formally taken into custody through probate. However, if you do not know these wishes or this person is not currently available, you should find another trusted party to care for the children in the meantime.
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Unfortunately, in some cases this may not be possible. If you believe that children will not be safe with other relatives, contact your local social services or child protection services. They can help find safe, short-term housing until a deceased person’s will is found, and if there is no such will, until the court appoints a guardian.
(If you are concerned about who the courts may appoint and are willing to become a guardian of the children, you should notify your local court as soon as possible.)
Regardless of who died and who now cares for the children, the children a
. So talk to them as soon as possible about what happened. This conversation will be different for each child depending on their age, personality and understanding of each other. But make the conversation age appropriate. As our friend Rachel Cruz says, “Share, don’t intimidate.”
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Remember that children do not have to be the sole breadwinner of your loved one. Provide food and water to all pets and have someone come to take them out or clean up if necessary. After the dust settles, you’ll want to plan for the next few weeks to care for the animals—until the testing process is complete and they’re placed with a new caretaker.
Breaking the news to family and friends can be one of the hardest parts of the day. However, there are several ways to lighten the load.
Our emotions, bodies, and minds are part of who we are. When we’re sad, our bodies release stress hormones that make it hard to sleep, eat, or think straight. They even make us more likely to get sick!1
. Healthcare facilities know this, so many hospitals have chaplains on staff to provide immediate support to families. These trained professionals will help you get through the first few hours.
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You should also reach out to a few close friends who know and love you—those who sit with you at 3 a.m. or cook dinner when you’re tired. They love you and will be there for you. Lean on them.
You need to plan for the end of life and provide for the assets of your loved ones after the date of their death. Here’s how to do these things.
Hopefully, your loved one has kept all of their important legal documents, such as wills and directives, in an easily accessible drawer. Otherwise, you will have to find these papers. Look for anything that shares how your loved one would like their end-of-life services and assets to be handled.
Your loved one may also die without a will. In this case, you choose to end the term while the probate courts help settle the estate (more on that in a minute).
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Note: If you are currently caring for a terminally ill relative, ask them where their legal documents are and how to access them. You may even need help getting documents you don’t have, such as a will. This is a difficult but necessary conversation that will save you from potential legal problems.
Some people leave very clear instructions. Others leave no instructions. And most people fall somewhere in the middle. Therefore, you may have to make some decisions for your loved one, such as:
. The average cost of a funeral in the US in 2020 was between $7,000 and $10,000.2 Do your best to know how much you will spend.
Finally, consider how you can help others honor the deceased. You can encourage people to send gifts to a charity that your loved one supports. Or you could start a journal where people can write down their favorite memories of your loved one at the end of life. All of this will help them — and you — grieve better.
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Newspapers and online obituaries help alert those in the community who want to pay their respects. Many funeral homes even provide families with a link to their loved one’s online obituary, which they can share via email and social media. This means that these announcements are completely optional. If your loved one wants more privacy, you can skip them.
It’s sad, but true: after a person’s death, his belongings are very susceptible to theft. And thieves can be family! It causes a lot of drama when people accept things in “grandmother’s memory,” especially if the thing was promised to someone else in a will.
And in some families, dirty people keep everything they can – from a grandfather clock to a lawnmower. It’s theft and it’s wrong even if it’s a family!
Look for cash, keys and other valuables and write down a list of what you find – this will come in handy when it’s time to distribute assets. Then store those valuables in a safe place. And if you think about it, family members will ask
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Throw away trash and perishables while protecting your valuables. Clean bathrooms and do laundry. Basically, clean everything that might be unpleasant or smelly.
Finally, if you don’t live nearby, ask a neighbor or even the local police department to check the house every day. (Just make sure you call
You can even ask someone to take charge of the funeral, as thieves sometimes look at obituaries to plan robberies when they think no one will be home.
Look at the will to see first
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